4/4 I never was very good at singing anyways

Post-op follow-up with Dr. C, the surgical oncologist.

Highlights:

1. Pathology was unremarkable! If there is one time in my life I want to be considered 'unremarkable', it is now.

When I told my brother, he literally said, "I forget what it's like to not have cancer found."

2. The incision was healing well. Drain needed to stay in place until it drained less than 30 cc's x2 days.

3. I informed her, I had a "me problem, not a you problem" regarding how my left boob looked like and felt like it was about to burst. It is discolored and warm and JUST. SO. HEAVY.

So my, 'me problem', did become a 'her problem', and they got me into my plastic surgeon's office ASAP.

"Heather, I've literally been thinking about you. I laugh every time I see that candle on my desk. What is going on??"  (Refer to 2/26 for the initial gifting of said items as well as the reasoning)

My 'me problem', which became a 'her problem', now transitioned into a 'him problem'. 

The solution was an appointment with Interventional Radiology (IR) to have the fluid aspirated with possible drain placement. 

ANOTHER
DRAIN
😒

I know I need the fluid out but I don't want another drainnnnn 😭

It is so damn uncomfortable walking around with all that swelling from my armpit to my chest. 

It is likely there is a seroma - and although I had more lymph nodes removed from the R side, this L side, my dominant side, is frankly being a BIT*H.

But I was more than grateful to have the opportunity for the fluid to be removed and cultured. 

There is a small part of me that starts to worry about a latent infection or a different underlying source of the fluid accumulation. So being able to have those answers will indeed be comforting. 

In other news, with all the fluid around my expander, my boob is huge.
Yes BOOB.
Just one.
Don't forget the other side is still deflated. 

Go ahead visualize that. 

cue....

"I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my boobs. Too sexy to have nipples...YEAH.
I'm too sexy for cancer. Too sexy for my hair. Too sexy...."

OK, I never was very good at singing anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day, Gavie came home from school. "Mom, can we go buy sneakers now, please?"

My kid typically owns  ONE pair of shoes at a time. And he annihilates that pair.

I don't care if they cost me $150.

If he likes them and he wears them every damn day, it is worth it. 

The hard part is when they are wet. Or overly muddy and I don't notice it until it is time to get out the door --- but we've found solutions during those times - thank YOU blow dryer 🤣

This morning they had been wet. Sopping wet, but he was finding a solution. 

I noticed, however, during this that the insides were so worn down - like the soul (yes soul) of the shoe was coming through the bottom. So I mentioned that we could go pick out new shoes...at some point. 

Now, after a somewhat emotional day of learning I needed to have another procedure, was apparently the time.

And when Gavie is in the mood to shop or try things on, I take the bait immediately.

What we used to go through every morning just to get him out the door, the shoes being the final test of if we could leave in peace or not.

A sock could look at him the wrong way.
His shirt, which he wore religiously, would have a TINY stain that he now noticed and made him look "ugly".
His pants were too tight, even though they fit the day before. 
Then the shoes...if it was the tinnest bit of a struggle to get them on, I knew shit was about to go down.

Gavin has overcome a lot since those days and he is better at acknowledging what feels right and what he likes. I truly think so much of those feelings were due to school related anxiety and feeling like he couldn't control things, so he acted out with what he could control. 

SO, again, when Gavin is ready to try on and buy a new pair of shoes (I'm always hopeful for 2 or even 3), we go.

Logan, of course, wanted to come shopping too.
He could live in Antarctica and want to go shopping - just to buy snow.
I swear that kid can find something to buy, ANYWHERE.

This turned into Steve also needing shoes and wanting to come.

And what a Friday evening shopping excursion it was.

Foot Action
Kohls
Gabes
Rally House
Taco Bell for ONE taco for Logan
TJ Maxx (I was exhausted, I sat in the car while the boys went in)
Red Robin for Steve, Gavin, and I

By the time we got home, my stomach was empty but my heart was damn full.

..and Gavie did get a pair of some sweet new kicks while Logan snagged the much coveted white croc he needed 😎🙃