2/14/25 I charge extra for that.

 In college, I would hop past my besties doors, top off, my little boobies bouncing past them.

 I thought I was hysterical. I'm sure Julie and Trish can confirm those images burned into their retinas. I likely subjected Katie Fonte as well - I mean all is fair in love and war, or something like that, HA!

They are just boobs right? A mere extension of our flesh...yet still funny. 

So why now, when I have to stand NAKED (well top half only, I'll get to that part) in front of a blue curtain to have photos taken...is it so awkward?!

Today was the visit with the Plastics and Reconstruction team. This is the surgeon who will be giving me boobies after the mastectomy. My sis had come into town - with her kids, my brother too, as well as my dad - so she had the privilege of accompanying me on this visit. 

In my head, I knew I would have to expose myself - obviously the surgeon had to perform an assessment - but I still felt so vulnerable. 

It got better. "Do you have underwear on?"

Me thinking..."Yes. Why?"

"I will need you to remove your pants as well so I can get the whole picture in the event we use your own tissue."  There is the option of using the patient's own belly fat to reconstruct the breast - and while  a boob job and tummy tuck all rolled into one sounds great, it isn't quite as smooth of a process as it seems. 

He leaves the room so I can change. I look at my sister, 

"Yeah no. I'm not taking my pants off."

"Sis, I mean you do you."

"Like, nobody needs to see all that."

Surgeon and nurse re-enter the room. 

Me rambling...
"This is fucking awkward. Where do I put my hands? Does anyone else feel awkward? People usually charge for this shit you know. And if I took my pants off, I would have fucking charged extra."

The surgeon, "We could go toe-to-toe on the F word."

My sister, "Oh, I highly doubt that."

He finishes taking pictures...looks at the phone, "Oh no. I am going to have to take them again. They didn't work."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

He smiles.

My sis laughing, "I think she might throat punch you!"