Highlights of the day before surgery (my first surgery ever - if you don't count when I amputated my own finger on the spinning spokes of a stationary bike when I was 2...but that's another story for another day).
*I felt a tired I haven't felt in quite some time. I am losing my voice. My nose is stuffy. But today was my last opportunity to go to my gym for quite some time.
So I went to be around my crew and start my day with my people!
Yes, even Mike who informed all of us there that I remind him of a comment made about a family in Four Christmases. He referred to me as a "unique specific animal".
Hey, I resemble that remark.
*On the way home from the gym, I saw a cardinal. It was a beautiful sign.
"Hi Grandma and Grandpa!"
*I was supposed to drive to Allentown to 'get marked' by the Plastic surgeon so that the breast surgeon knows where to cut. Something happened and he wasn't going to be in the office.
So he calls me from his cell phone.
"I know you are busy, but the Upper Bucks campus is convenient for you right? Can you meet me there around 9:30? I will call them and tell them to get a room ready and to expect you. I will be in street clothes but will loiter about looking for you as well."
He made accommodations for me. Even after I dropped F bombs in our first appointment.
So of course I had to write him a little note from my "Ray of F*ucking Sunshine” sticky note pad. I also paid forward a gift I received as I thought he'd really enjoy the sentiments of a boob joke.
I always ask for female staff- I had wanted a female plastic surgeon. That didn't pan out but I think it happened for a reason. This guy gets me. So even when he is literally sitting in front of me, holding my boob, lifting it, folding it, staring at it, drawing on it...I feel comfortable?
Ok maybe not comfortable - I can't look him in the eyes - but I know I am in good hands...literally. Ugh the puns.
*I spent the day prepping as many weeks out as I can for school. I am leaving Mickey and Jonell with more students and more work. While I know they are more than capable of dealing with my absence, it is because of me they will have added stress and pressure. So I wanted to take the time to make the transition as smooth as possible. Those girls (and Ewa) are my lifeline at work and I am going to miss them all terribly. So, so, so much it actually hurts.
*I spent time updating this blog. I hate feeling like I have unfinished business.
*I took a nap. I drooled....a lot. I was beat.
*My mom and sister got back into town and I put them to work organizing my new stuff, doing some last minute prep for tomorrow, going over my list of things to occupy them during my surgery tomorrow and keeping the mood light.
*Gavin was picked up by his 'cousin' Gunnar and was SO excited to start his double sleepover. Steve and I both had to call him back to say "goodbye". But their energy level and giggles saved me from any bit of sadness.
*Shortly after, my mom and sis left to spend the evening at my in-laws. I know that seems odd, but my in-laws are amazing people and our families are blended. My family was respecting my need to not have extra people in the house both tonight and tomorrow AM.
*Steve and I then dropped Logan off at Zak's house. Zak and his brother were both excited to see Logan and while Logan is his father's son, I know he also was excited to be there.
I also found out he had homework to do still at 8:35 at night as one of us adults there was being a good parent and checking in on the homework situation. I can tell you it was not me. I was not the good parent this evening. I'm worried about Logan's grades - he doesn't have the drive to do his work and will forget to turn things in. I have to get on that kid!
*I envisioned the pick up/drop off of my children to be very emotional. But I think once it was time, I was ready and they were ready. I know they are being loved and cared for so I can rest assured that they will be 'OK' in these next two days. That is such a relief and for that I am eternally grateful for those two amazing families who answered my call for help. YES, I did ask for help!
*Steve changed our sheets as instructed. I have showered, used the antiseptic skin cleanser, and put on clean pj's. I washed and dried my hair as it will be awhile before I am able to do that independently.
I took a picture of my boobs. Naked. Because why not? I've had them and am sort of sad to see them go. But I also can't wait to compare my news ones (in due time) to how these look now. Additionally, they look kinda crazy with all the surgical markings on them so I wanted to capture that. I work in healthcare, what do you want from me...?
*Well, signing off for now....see you on the flip side!
(Yes, I am curious how big the biggest tumor is. Yes, I am curious how much my boobs weigh. Yes, I am hopeful they don't have to cut more than they think they do. Yes, I am hopeful the cancer has not spread to more lymph nodes than they anticipate. But for now, all I can do is try to get a smidge of sleep and prepare for whatever tomorrow brings.)
I GOT THIS.
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