By everyone's orders, I was to not go to today's appointment alone.
Today I was to meet with the breast surgeon (also hopefully the BEST surgeon). I was fully prepared to go alone however, no one, and I mean no one, would let me.
So I let Steve come. I think I let him come more for him than for me. So that he could hear the words of the surgeon and maybe find some comfort...?
I was 100% prepared for her to say that she recommended a B/L mastectomy. Based on the results of the mammogram, US, and MRI, I knew that nothing of my breast tissue would be able to be spared.
We were there for almost 2 hours. The surgeon was extremely thorough going over every test result and making sure she did not confuse the cancers in either breast or any of the lymph nodes. She said the words I had expected her to say. She provided me with solid facts, reasoning, and rationale.
I did ask before we left, "How did I get two different types of cancer? Is that normal?"
"I really don't know. That is one in a million."
All in all, we both felt very comfortable with her and confident in her knowledge.
I will admit, it was ALOT.
The one thing that almost got me was when she said she wanted to make moves as in get this surgery scheduled ASAP. I think that highlighted the severity of the situation - something that is easy to ignore when I otherwise feel good.
After the appointment, we re-grouped, grabbed food from Giacomo's (yes, again..it's delish), and returned home.
The boys got home from school shortly after and the appointment got pushed out of my mind - keeping everything as normal as possible was (and still is) my goal.
That night, my two college besties Jules and Trish had planned to come so we could spend time all together. So while Steve took the kids to basketball practice, I got some much needed quality time with my girls. Thanks to Kristen R. for the delish bevs (grab yours at Mercantino!)
It wasn't until lying in bed that night, that I began to silent cry. Steve sensing this, just held me. I don't know exactly why I was crying. Maybe the weight of it all just hit me. SHIT.
Sometimes you just need a good cry.
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