3/5 POD #6 > Does that feel good?

At the end of the day yesterday I found out I could SHOWER.

Two days ago, I told my mom I was getting in the tub come hell or high water so I could wash my bits and pieces. And shave my legs. And frankly just freshen up.

Well let me tell you, getting into and out of a tub without really being able to push up was quite the feat. My mom bless her soul - was legit sitting on the toilet <lid closed people> which is approx 2 in from the tub the entire time. 

When it was time for me to get out - I kindly asked her to close the curtain as it wasn't going to be pretty in many different ways. And it wasn't.   In the end, I was able to do what I had intended to do so I was grateful for that but again...it wasn't pretty. 

So being able to stand and shower and not worry about the incision sites or the drains was a WIN!

Mom and I devised our plan for the day. 

We went on a "walk" - my second so far woohoo! This walk I went a smidge further than last time but more importantly I was able to chat with my neighbor Linda as well as a neighbor, Tim...WHO IS MY NEW GYM BUDDY!

Why am I yelling?

Because Tim recently joined our gym and I already thoroughly enjoyed his wit, he let me sing to him multiple times while being stuck rowing next to me, I gave him shit about how he parked his big ass truck (don't worry he got me back), and he was just a fun welcome addition to the 5:30am crew. 

So imagine my surprise when he came running up!

"Shut the HELL up! No you don't!! Do you live in this neighborhood?!"

So I stood there while we laughed and chatted and realized indeed, yes, we live in the same neighborhood (to be fair, he moved in recently).  Then mom and I carried on our merry way.

Fast forward to shower time. Well let me tell you - there needs to be a real life HOW TO guide book post B/L mastectomy to do ALL THE THINGS. Sure, there are tips, but I mean real life nitty gritty raw how to's. 

I'll spare you all the details <unless you know someone that could benefit from knowing the inside scoop - reach out to me - we will chat> but let me highlight some of the fun we had:

**I was adamant about being able to clean myself. The bath the other day felt good but let's just say I couldn't really get everywhere I wanted to. 

"Honey, I can help you with whatever."

"Mom, thank you but I got it. I just need to stand here and let the water run everywhere. I can manage."

 
My mom stood outside our shower door the entire time anxious to help me. Anything to minimize my pain. 

I struggled to reach my backside!
Now...I know this and am not ashamed... it is not a small backside. SO, reaching around to it proved to be a challenge I was not going to win. 

"Ugh. Mom, I need you to help me please. I need you to just give me like one swipe to clean my crack."

"Of course honey whatever you need!" I swear she jumped up and down. 

My mom proceeds to ready the wash cloth then gets on in there and in a throaty soft voice says, 

"Ohhh yeah does that feel good..." WHILE ACTIVELY CLEANING MY BUTT.

"OMG. STOP. STOP. You just made that so weird.  It is clean enough!!"

We both busted out laughing - which wasn't great as I had no support up top - but it is times like those that bring light to otherwise shit situations. 

**Washing the bra finally. I had been living in it 24/7. We thought, while I showered, let's wash this! While washing/drying it, I would sit nicely post shower and ready in this second bra that was gifted to me from a FB group, then put the other one back on once it was clean!

The bra took forever to dry. It kept sticking to itself where it shouldn't. The other bra didn't fit - like at all. By this time, I was sore from being upright as well as from bending forward in the shower to do all the things. I needed support. 

"Well mom, I have ace bandages. Let's wrap these puppies up."

So there I sat stock still supported by an ace wrap until the bra dried. It may not seem like much but with the dressing changes, drain management, and discomfort being unsupported and upright for so long, anxiety tends to creep in.

The bra dried. 

I survived.

And I guess if  I had to admit it....yes. Yes, it did feel good.