4/15 I can finally put my finger on it

 My mom was super sad that I was going to try and go to work today. 

"You don't have to go to work just so I will leave."

MOM!
Jeez, isn't it the kids that are supposed to guilt trip parents?

But, I was honest with myself and my heart, and I knew I didn't have it in me to give my all to my students.
So last night, I told her I didn't think I'd be able to go in and would she stay with me, please?

💗

There has been something nagging at me when I see my mom, or my sis, or even my brother.
I am obviously glad they are here visiting me but something kinda just doesn’t sit right. 


I can finally put my finger on it. 


"You being here makes me realize I am sick."


I try to carry on like I am that same healthy version of myself I was just months ago (the one that just always focused on how “fat” I 

was). 

I want to just keep living to the fullest - but every time my family comes, it is that reminder of, "you are sick".


But now that I can acknowledge that, I think I can start to get over it. 

Who cares why they are visiting?

It is giving me all the extra minutes I never would have had. 

I need to just be grateful to have all this extra time with them. 


To fill the day, my mom worked on making my favorite Easter cookies - bird nests!


She is just the cutest. I am glad I didn't make it into work today as the happiness my heart felt being with her was much needed.









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