3/23 POD #24 > Dancing through the fire


I don’t need to hear that I’m going to be OK 
or…
I’m going to fight this
or…
I’m going to win this 
or…
That I can beat this.

There’s never once been a doubt in my mind.

 I am stronger than this time in my life.

 I am better than this fu*king cancer. 

I will not host this motherfu*ker. 

I will show this bi*ch  whose boss and make sure it goes runs and cries, and tells all of its friends.
Don't go there. She is mean.

I don’t have to fight to be here for my children because I WILL be here for my children. 

My husband will be stuck with me. 

My story is nowhere near over.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today I walked 5.02 miles. 

I didn't initially feel like walking.

I'd rather go to the gym. Lift heavy weights. Run even...but those things are not in my cards right now...so I walked.


And I walked...

And then when I got to 3 miles, I thought, well, 3 miles is the furthest I've walked since my surgery, so let me go 3.5 miles.


But if I am going to walk 3.5 miles, what is .5 miles more to 4?


Getting to 4 miles I wasn't really close to home, so 4.5 it was...


But let's be honest...why walk 4.5 miles when you can just walk 5?




I LOVE listening to music - lyrics move me. Literally. 

At mile 4.51 two songs came on, one right after the other.


1. It's Quiet Uptown - Kelly Clarkson

There are moments that the words don't reachThere is suffering too terrible to nameYou hold your child as tight as you canThen push away the unimaginableThe moments when you're in so deepFeels easier to just swim downAnd so they move uptownAnd learn to live with the unimaginable
....
They are trying to do the unimaginable

....
There are moments that the words don't reachThere's a grace too powerful to nameWe push away what we could never understandWe push away the unimaginableThey're standing in the gardenStanding there side by sideShe takes his handIt's quiet uptownForgiveness, can you imagine?Forgiveness, can you imagine?
If you see him in the street, walking by her sideTalking by her side, have pityLook around, look aroundThey are going through the unimaginable


2. Roar - Katy Perry 

....
You held me down, but I got up (hey!)Already brushing off the dustYou hear my voice, you hear that soundLike thunder, gonna shake the groundYou held me down, but I got up (hey!)Get ready 'cause I've had enoughI see it all, I see it now
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighterDancing through the fire'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roarLouder, louder than a lion'Cause I am the champion, and you're gonna hear me roar
Now I'm floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee, I earned my stripesI went from zero, to my own hero
You held me down, but I got up (hey!)Already brushing off the dustYou hear my voice, you hear that soundLike thunder, gonna shake the groundYou held me down, but I got up (got up)Get ready 'cause I've had enoughI see it all, I see it now
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighterDancing through the fire'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roarLouder, louder than a lion'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar

While this whole twist in my life has been unimaginable for not just me, but for my entire family, I will continue dancing through the fire...
...'cause I am a champion. 


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